New Years Resolutions 2024

In the new year, I’d like to:

1. Be less braggy
2. Lose 11 pounds
3. Drink 64 oz. of water each day
4. Improve Reflective Listening skill
5. Play games
6. Run daily (40 to 50 minutes…treadmill or outdoor)
7. Daily Prayer
8. Spend time organizing the house
9. Help clients at work learn how to set SMART (Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, Time bound) goals
10. Improve EMT skills (blood sugar, blood pressure, memorize where items are located in ambulance, paperwork/what to make copies of and leave at hospital)

Be less braggy

One of the epiphanies I’ve had, especially in the past year or so, is that I used to believe that…in order to make friends I needed to really sell myself. I guess I thought that every person I met was like a job interview? I’m this, I’m that, I’ve been to this place, I have these skills…see, I’m interesting and good and a person that has character.

Somewhere it’s been written that interesting people are interested. It’s tough to make that shift from selling myself…proving myself worthy…to curiosity. The person in front of you has a whole life history, strengths and challenges, likes and dislikes. There’s this kids movie on Netflix called, “Leo” its about a class pet that shares some social skills with the kiddos. The lesson I liked the most was about a child who talked a constant monologue. The little pet lizard tells the kid, “Ask a question.” And that’s really the whole of it. Ask others questions, be curious and don’t waste time trying to think up ways to make others like you. They maybe will like you and they maybe will not. It isn’t up to you.

Another obstacle I bump into is not having enough curiosity in general. Think of a full glass of water….or Orange Juice…whatever you like 🙂 If you want more to go into the glass, there has to be room. Some of it needs to go somewhere else. For me, running and prayer help. Organizing my time so there are less worries helps. Setting good boundaries with work has helped (no one calls me at home and I have an auto reply on my email that says what to do in an emergency). The enemy of curiosity is believing you know everything already. I’m not totally sure, but I think that fear is what drives us to believe we know everything already. It’s a feeling of safety to say to myself, “I know what’s going to happen today.” I make the mistake of sizing people up and making assessments about who they are and what they have to offer.

Don’t get me wrong, I think it’s good to size up whether or not you are talking with someone who is safe or not. I meet people who date and/or marry sex offenders and tell me they are actually good. I believe and deeply hope that all of us has goodness in us, but I’m not going to place myself or those I love in the path of anyone who has a history of unsafe/bad actions. I’ve tried explaining this concept in this way: When I go to the zoo and I see the tiger, I don’t hate him or anything. That tiger isn’t bad exactly, but he’s not safe. Safety is when your body isn’t going to be hurt. There are lots of clues that a person is unsafe. I’m still not sure why so many people do not see those clues. I have some ideas on this topic, but I’m already way off track and I’ll save those for another day.

With people who are generally safe, curiosity looks like asking questions. But be careful not to be like you’re interrogating them. I watched this woman I know, not me this time, at a party forcefully asking everyone questions. It felt like she was making this catalogue, in her mind, of all the ways each person might be useful to her at some point. When you’re asking questions, be asking those questions in an effort to connect and enjoy someone’s company not for some type of future gain.

More on the rest of the resolutions later!

Love,

Terra Rose