Life Without Montages

This New Years Resolution should be at the top, but this is the honest order I thought them up in.

I’m writing from my phone today, because I didn’t bring my laptop. I’m at my Mom’s with my sister who’s having her colonoscopy today.

I have to say that Tricia has been a better sport about fasting than I was when I did this last summer! She did get a bit tired of drinking all the mix, and laughed when I said, “Chug! Chug! Chug!”

My daily prayer is what I remember of this prayer card of Solunus Casey.

—Do not pray for easy lives, pray to be strong. Do not pray for tasks equal to your powers, pray for powers equal to your tasks.—I remember this part the most.

There’s more to it than that:

Life is to live and life is to give and talents are to use for good if you choose.
Do not pray for easy lives; pray to be strong.

Do not pray for tasks equal to your powers. Pray for powers equal to your tasks, then the doing of your work shall be no miracle, but you shall be a miracle.
Every day you shall wonder at yourself… at the richness of life which has come to you by the grace of God.

But everyone needs someone – knowing that somewhere someone is thinking of you.

Prayer used by Fr. Solanus who adapted it from a poem by Phillips Brooks

Love,

Terra Rose

Oooof. Well, I was doing this New Year’s Resolution pretty solid until the past few days. The nice thing about keeping track of nutrition and exercise is that you can’t really kid yourself about what you did.

Last time I went running was Tuesday night on the Tredmill. I’m not sure what happened to Wed and Thursday, but I know that yesterday I was at my daughter’s wrestling match. That was fun. One win, a by (or bye?), and one loss. I think that all people and especially kids need some type of exercise.

I fell asleep really early on Tuesday night…7 or even could have been 6:30pm. That turned out well, because I was awake when a call came in for EMS at 4am. I’ve been learning how to do the paperwork correctly. There is this sequence of which sheets need to be copied and some go with the ambulance and some stay at the hospital. It finally occurred to me that I could just make a list in my phone, rather than telling myself that I will eventually remember the order and what goes where. I wasn’t ever that waitress that remembers your order without a notepad 🙂

I will run before today ends.

Happy Saturday!

Terra Rose

I usually feel like I need to be doing some type of work at all times. The only other thing is TV. For 2024, one of my resolutions is to play more games. Board games, cards, twister? I’m not exactly sure, but I know this is important somehow.

I was at the afterschool program and this kid had no one to play Connect Four with him. Honestly, I was in a tired and sad mood. It surprised me how good it felt to do something that had concreteness and no stakes.

This is the point of games I think….to give us something to do together that forms an experience that’s not stressful.

We need to take breaks from all the “important” thoughts. Everything can seem so high stakes and, in reality, only a few things are actually important.

Wishing you moments of Peace and Joy today!

Love,

Terra Rose

Long a difficult skill to master, I have added this to my 2024 New Year’s Resolutions because it is a profoundly useful skill.

“WHAT IS REFLECTIVE LISTENING?
Reflective listening is the practice of repeating a paraphrased version of the speaker’s message back to them. The message includes more than just the words the speaker communicates. It also includes any emotions they’re expressing.

As a reflective listener, your goal is to help the speaker hear their own thoughts and encourage them to keep talking. This is different from other conversations where you might listen to the speaker and then respond by adding in new information or a related anecdote.

It’s also different from asking the speaker questions, as that guides them instead of simply hearing them out and allowing them to process their thoughts and feelings as they flow.”

Source: https://www.zippia.com/advice/reflective-listening/

This is especially good for children. As adults, it’s our work to guide/coach/teach/protect kids. Still, there are times when the best thing we can do is to reflect back what we are hearing them say, to acknowledge that they have feelings and struggles just as adults…and all humans do.

Happy Tuesday!

Terra Rose

How is this going? Hmmm. It’s been three weeks since I started tracking nutrition. The first week, I used the app Myfitness pal and that worked pretty well, but my husband read some reviews of nutrition/weight loss apps and he said the app, Lose It, was reviewed really positively…so, I’ve been on that for two weeks.

The first week, I didn’t want to weigh myself at all. The second week, I lost 0.6 pounds. Then, last Thursday…I gained 2.8 pounds. What the fuck Santa?!!!

I don’t really get that, because I was within the allotted calories for the days. The app keeps saying I’ll reach my goal by April.

It’s hard to believe something is going to happen when there’s no evidence of it so far. I did consider that I had not weighed myself at all for a year or more prior to this…so, it’s possible that the numbers bounce around on a monthly basis without me ordinarily even knowing it.

On the bright side, there’s a feature that tracks Fiber, Protein, and Water for the day. I’ve been able to meet those and I definitely wasn’t doing that prior to keep track. I was surprised how little water I drink during the day. I used to be so good at that, but I guess stress just tells me to drink too much coffee and eat cheese.

I started running every day again. This came after I had a light bulb go off about how sedentary my life has become. I sit in the morning and drink coffee. I sit in the car to drive to work. I sit at work. I sit again on the car ride home. Then, I sit on the couch and watch TV. So, I had to have a heart to heart with myself about how it is actually quite fair for me to exercise 40 minutes a day.

A big obstacle for me and fitness is believing that it’s not fair.

“It’s not fair!” I say to myself. I’m tired, sad, worked hard, etc. But when I think about it…often it turns out to be exactly fair. Sitting leads to poor fitness. It’s not personally out to get me. It’s just cause and effect.

So, that’s the plan. Track food and water with the Lose It app and exercise 40 minutes a day.

Hugs!

Terra Rose

In the new year, I’d like to:

1. Be less braggy
2. Lose 11 pounds
3. Drink 64 oz. of water each day
4. Improve Reflective Listening skill
5. Play games
6. Run daily (40 to 50 minutes…treadmill or outdoor)
7. Daily Prayer
8. Spend time organizing the house
9. Help clients at work learn how to set SMART (Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, Time bound) goals
10. Improve EMT skills (blood sugar, blood pressure, memorize where items are located in ambulance, paperwork/what to make copies of and leave at hospital)

Be less braggy

One of the epiphanies I’ve had, especially in the past year or so, is that I used to believe that…in order to make friends I needed to really sell myself. I guess I thought that every person I met was like a job interview? I’m this, I’m that, I’ve been to this place, I have these skills…see, I’m interesting and good and a person that has character.

Somewhere it’s been written that interesting people are interested. It’s tough to make that shift from selling myself…proving myself worthy…to curiosity. The person in front of you has a whole life history, strengths and challenges, likes and dislikes. There’s this kids movie on Netflix called, “Leo” its about a class pet that shares some social skills with the kiddos. The lesson I liked the most was about a child who talked a constant monologue. The little pet lizard tells the kid, “Ask a question.” And that’s really the whole of it. Ask others questions, be curious and don’t waste time trying to think up ways to make others like you. They maybe will like you and they maybe will not. It isn’t up to you.

Another obstacle I bump into is not having enough curiosity in general. Think of a full glass of water….or Orange Juice…whatever you like 🙂 If you want more to go into the glass, there has to be room. Some of it needs to go somewhere else. For me, running and prayer help. Organizing my time so there are less worries helps. Setting good boundaries with work has helped (no one calls me at home and I have an auto reply on my email that says what to do in an emergency). The enemy of curiosity is believing you know everything already. I’m not totally sure, but I think that fear is what drives us to believe we know everything already. It’s a feeling of safety to say to myself, “I know what’s going to happen today.” I make the mistake of sizing people up and making assessments about who they are and what they have to offer.

Don’t get me wrong, I think it’s good to size up whether or not you are talking with someone who is safe or not. I meet people who date and/or marry sex offenders and tell me they are actually good. I believe and deeply hope that all of us has goodness in us, but I’m not going to place myself or those I love in the path of anyone who has a history of unsafe/bad actions. I’ve tried explaining this concept in this way: When I go to the zoo and I see the tiger, I don’t hate him or anything. That tiger isn’t bad exactly, but he’s not safe. Safety is when your body isn’t going to be hurt. There are lots of clues that a person is unsafe. I’m still not sure why so many people do not see those clues. I have some ideas on this topic, but I’m already way off track and I’ll save those for another day.

With people who are generally safe, curiosity looks like asking questions. But be careful not to be like you’re interrogating them. I watched this woman I know, not me this time, at a party forcefully asking everyone questions. It felt like she was making this catalogue, in her mind, of all the ways each person might be useful to her at some point. When you’re asking questions, be asking those questions in an effort to connect and enjoy someone’s company not for some type of future gain.

More on the rest of the resolutions later!

Love,

Terra Rose

Merry Christmas to all!

This is a time to express love and gratitude. Letting loved ones know how you feel by telling them, making them food, spending time together, giving gifts, and playing cards or games is what I think works well for many of us.

None of us are perfect partners, nor siblings, nor parents, nor children and we can just do our best to learn what it is that each of our family or friends needs from us to feel loved.

A challenging thing for me, through the years, has been being brave enough to ask people what it is they want from me. My main fear is that I won’t be able to meet their expectations. But I’ve learned to face my fear most days, and ask:

“What is it you are hoping for from me?”

I do this at home and at work. I get a lot of different answers…some honest ones and others that are not truthful. Sometimes, I can’t tell which is which.

There’s more I could say on this topic 🙂 However, I have the week off work and its time to have a family meeting to decide what we are doing for the next couple of days.

Peace be with you!

Terra Rose