Life Without Montages

Has anyone else read this book, “How to be a Perfect Person in Just Three Days”? I was thinking of this story a few days ago, and looked it up on Amazon http://www.amazon.com/Perfect-Person-Just-Three-Days/dp/0440413494

Basically, its about a kid that happens upon a self-help book promising to make him perfect in 3 days. I read this when I was a preteen and the message of the story stayed with me in the best possible way.

There are a wide range of philosophies and techniques in the field of human services. Really, more flavors than ice cream and as many different versions as cars on the highway. Its good, because people are as varied…if not more so.

My view is that some things can’t be changed. There isn’t a book or a therapist that will make you perfect in 3 days or 3 years (Yes! I’m looking at you, “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff.” Its NOT all small stuff!!!). No matter how much time or effort you put in, you will always have days where you don’t want to get into or out of your car in the morning. Moments when your kids wonder why you have such large veins in your neck.

Therapy can be more of a shifting of perspective. Like a tree that was twisted up in a storm. After the rain stops falling, the tree can’t be untwisted. It will never be the tree that it would have been. Even if it were possible to go back, how would we stop the storm?

We can revisit the past in our minds. Its something that separates humans from bunnies and cows. But we can’t change what happened moments or years ago. Therapy can’t help you alter the past. Only Sam Beckett can do that, and he would really have liked to get home before that poorly written final episode**

When you look up at the twisted tree, you get to decide if it is ugly or beautiful. Whether you will chop it down and burn the pieces or paint a picture showing the way it still bears fruit.

Therapy, good therapy, can help challenge the way you view the past. As well as helping you become aware of how the past influences your reactions to present situations. Prayers, friends, and books are powerful allies in shaping your viewpoints as well. I think that good therapy works alongside the strengths and supports an individual already utilizes.

Happy Saturday! Be Well 🙂

**Quantum Leap was such a good show. Why that last episode? I demand an answer!**

Went to a clinic visit. When did they starting getting stingy about the ultrasound machine?! I had to put up and bit of a fuss and lean on the fact that I have a sis with down’s syndrome. Geez. Good news though, I got to see the little guy or gal! 

“Mom, what was your life like when you weren’t even here? Before you were growing in a belly? What did it feel like before you were alive, and you were waiting to be here?”

Since Sam was a little guy, we’ve been in the habit of having him brush his teeth every night. Ariel does that as well. Lately, I’ve been thinking that they should both start brushing in the morning and night. Here is how our conversation just went:

Me: “You know, when I was a kid, I used to brush my teeth in the morning, too.”

Ariel: “You was a Kid?!!!”

Yes. I can see how that could be a shocker 🙂

On a long enough time line the leaves will turn back into dirt…I mean if I don’t rake them. I wonder how long that would take. Its not to late for me to become a kind of lay scientist. So far the leaves have survived under a blanket of snow for several months. Now, the leaves must stare across the street at the sign that informs passersby that a paid service has removed all the leaves. Maybe the fear will cause them to evaporate faster?

Last weekend was Emily’s baptism. It was fun to be together! 

Spring is here. Even though its been a bit cold, the roads have been very good. Yesterday, after class, the kids and I went to my mom’s so they could play some more with Avery and Emily. Its nice to hear them running around and laughing with each other. 

In other news: our neighbors and my kids took 3rd place in the town’s snow sculpture contest http://www.prescottlife.org 

We have participated in the contest the past three years, and built one just for fun the year before that. It feels as though we have known our neighbors much longer than 5 years. I remember the first summer we moved here, how the neighbors had a lemonade stand and we introduced ourselves. 

I love my life. My husband, kids, parents, aunts and uncles, grandparents, neighbors, cousins, classmates and co-workers all add a richness to the way I see the world.

Before I had Sam, I didn’t know how many different things two large leggos could be and do. 

Two large leggos stacked can be a good guy or a bad guy, depending on the colors used. When they break apart, the portal is opened and they can travel vast distances. Leggos speak a variety of languages, and spend a lot of time training for fights. Sometimes, they fight giant spiders or robots gone wrong. Other times, they explore new planets or (if Ariel is also playing) they eat cake! 

When I started grad school, right after I had Ariel, it felt like I would be taking classes forever. Not that I would mind, I love class. I was telling my sister the other day that its like a vacation where I get to drink coffee, take notes, and discuss things without being interrupted. That peaceful time is coming to a close, as I will be starting to put theories into practice. There is a plaque outside one of the buildings at the school where I studied Psychology as an undergrad that reads something like:

“Now you’ll go out of school life and into life’s school.”

I suppose I’ve been out here for awhile 🙂 But its nice to have the vacation now and then. Writing is similar. It seems like its popular now to be in the moment. I hear that a lot. How important it is to be present. And I don’t disagree, but I think that its also important to take some time to step back and reflect. To ask myself the questions: “Why am I here? Where have I been? Is there anything I wish I was doing differently? Am I taking good care of my family and myself?”

Because we have so many choices. It makes sense to ask and pray for understanding and guidance. This is a time of renewal and hope, and I love every minute of it. 

I gave my first good presentation today. Anyone who has known me for awhile will know that public speaking and myself are not usually on good terms. 

After my last group project presentation, which was mediocrely terrible, I decided that I wanted the next one to go well. 

I feel pretty good about this being possible, because it was about a topic I’m interested in and the class is a nice group. 

The first thing I did was look on WikiHow http://www.wikihow.com/Do-a-Presentation-in-Class. This article was exactly what I needed to get out from under my anxiety. 

The next thing was thinking about how my classmates might use this information in the future and shaping the presentation with this in mind.

The third thing was getting tons of HELP from my family. They watched and played with my kids for two days while I buried myself in this and read more research articles than ever before. 

Anyway. Ariel needs me. Victory Dance!!!!!!!!!

Hugs, 

Terra

Sometimes, its hard to tell when you are reaching your limit. This morning, we woke up and ate breakfast and got dressed as usual. But we couldn’t find Sam’s gloves. The bus came.

We both panicked. I carried Sam across the street in my sweat pants and bare feet. 

Just in time to have the bus pull away. 

Back inside the house, Sam cried. Then, Ariel cried. Creating an organic alarm clock for Randy, who got up quietly and with class. 

One thing I’ve learned in grad school is to validate the feelings and the whole upset will pass much quicker. “Its disappointing to miss the bus, but we can drive in the car and not miss school.” Rather than previous things I would say, “Its not that big of a deal!” Because you can’t talk someone out of the way they feel. And, really, why would we want to?

An important thing for me has been realizing when I’m too tired to remember the things that work.

In running, its all about stretching yourself to the limits and growing stronger. The trick is knowing when you need a break. 

Anyway. I need to do some exercise. I’m not feeling like 1 degree running, so I will do the elliptical in here. Hugs! Terra

I love visiting my childhood home. My parents left up the wall paper in my old bedroom. Its a giant picture of the Earth as seen from the moon. 

When we sleep over, I pretend to sleep among the stars.

I like to give my parents crap about having a lot of things are their house, but as I’ve become a parent myself it makes more sense to me. We never know what’s going to happen or what we are going to need.

I’m secretly a little relieved.

I know that if Armageddon comes, we will have enough 1997 lotion to kill the zombies.

When I was a kid, I looked in the mirror a lot. I mean ALOT. I was always checking to see what everyone else was seeing. 

I don’t do that, much, anymore. I’m aware of the fact that I’m past my societal prime, but I feel kinder toward my reflection. 

I like to think that the if the girl I was could see me now, she’d be glad for us. I’m not perfect, but I am happy.