It was nice to see the kids I work with getting along tonight. There are reasons I do this work. One of the reasons is the old cliché: it takes one to know one. Sometimes, a kid I work with will see a kid from school and will wave and the kid will pretend not to see. Its sad. And I might not have been a complete social outcast as a kid, but I do understand what its like to feel lonely and not know why your efforts to reach out are futile. I think what sometimes happens is that your own story fills you up…and making friends involves creating a space in your heart and mind for other people’s stories. I try to share this concept with the kids in little ways.
Anyway. Tonight was nice, because I saw two kids connect who are generally isolated due to limited social skills and it made me happy in my heart.
Each time I drive to school or work, its about an hour. For 40 minutes or so, I cry about my step dad having cancer. For the remaining 20 minutes, I let my face return to its “pre-cry” state.
Lucky for me, my work cheers me up most days.
Classes are harder. As are the staff meetings. Chatter about “major stressors” and “feeling dis-regulated” makes me feel like throwing things. Even though I know that I’d be complaining about silly shit too if I could.
My husband and kids cheer me up as well. Having a weekend together was a breath of fresh air. Also, we are all VERY excited to welcome Theresa’s baby boy into this world any day now.
Right now, I just want to believe that Al is the guy that’s going to live. Despite doing some reading on WebMD, etc. I keep thinking, he must be inside of that smaller number: the ones that survive.
Life Without Montages 