Farting in an Elevator

I’ve recently come to the realization that complaining is like farting.

We all need to complain/fart sometimes due to a processing of all the comes through us. But some times and places are better than others.

Complaining in front of children, or anyone under our care, is as rude as farting in an elevator. Our dependents have a limited comprehension of the issues that give us intestinal distress; money, politics, germs, interpersonal dilemmas. Talking in front of children, as though they weren’t sniffing in every complaint, is well…its just the worst.

Try to remember a time when you had no control over a particular outcome…..Got one in mind? If not, imagine you are on an airplane.

The captain turns his speaker on and says to his co-pilot and flight attendant, “Well, friends, I have no idea how I’m going to land this thing. Also, I think we may or may not be leaking gasoline. No? Oh. I just thought maybe. I guess that is just the way coffee smells when its left on too long.”

They all chuckle. But you are already feeling around under the seat for that cushion/life preserver. You push the call button and ask for some clarification about landing procedures, and the flight attendant comes up to your seat and yells,

“WHAT?! What are you DOING?!!! I’m trying to talk to the captain. This is serious, we have work to do.”

A few minutes later, the banter continues, “This job is the worst! All these passengers do is take, take, take! Why can’t they just sit in their seats and relax?”

“I know. What, ah, do you hear that beeping? What is that?” The captain’s voice is shaking.

“Yeah, we really should have planned for this.” The flight attendant also sounds worried.

Anyway. You get it. And no my family and I are not in any kind of trouble right now. But we worry so very much.

Sometimes, worrying is a good thing. Making responsible choices has helped us to create what I feel is a pretty awesome life 🙂 Still, there’s a difference between planning for the future and nail-biting terror regarding unforeseen events that we have no control over.

To bring us back, we all complain/fart sometimes. Things build up. That doesn’t mean its cool to fart up an elevator packed with other humans who can not get away.

Try not to complain in front of people who don’t have any control over the situation. When possible, point out the things they can do or do have control over. Feeling powerless is fun for no one.

Make time for complaining and/or for talking about serious issues when dependents are not around.

If one slips out…apologize.

And strengthen those brain/butt muscles that control stinky output. It really helps create a happier day for the people we love.