One of the many things I have learned from my husband is to be inspired by the accomplishments of others.
My previous practice, when confronted by a person who was stronger (physically or emotionally), kinder, making more money than me, and/or more beautiful (physically or emotionally) than me…was to feel intimidated and usually jealous.
Feeling small would lead me to get really down on myself while at the same time searching for flaws in the other person as well as avoiding such better people whenever possible.
Turns out there are loads of individuals who are more skilled than me in many areas such as (but not limited to): cooking, writing, running, public speaking, math and/or problem solving in general, smiling/having positive outlook.
Once, and please forgive me for being repetitive as I may have already told you this story, I was leading a group at my former place of employment called, “World of Work.” It was a series about figuring out what type of work a person might like, how to create a resumé, how to go about finding a job, etc. What drew me to this material was the rapid rate at which I was burning out in my own professional life. Participants of this group were adult persons with developmental disabilities. Some of the people had been in-house for awhile, waiting for a community based job placement (doing dishes, cleaning offices, etc.), and found my yammering on about the “World of Work” a bit much.
Others enjoyed, or at least tolerated, daydreaming with me. One young man, when asked about his ideal job, said that he’d like to work in a government office.
Asked why he responded, “Because then I’d be important.”
Like drop of food coloring in a cup of water, (hey, Easter’s coming!) his answer changed my perspective.
Many times in life we act as though external achievements give us value.
The truth, I believe, is that we are born as important or valuable as we ever will be. Tie that belief in with the concept that we are all born of equal value. Even as we travel together, through life, succeeding and making mistakes-the level of worth remains the same.
Anyway, I’ve strayed from my original point. How I frequently (less often these days) would get discouraged by the abilities and accomplishments of others.
My husband has advised me to try the following when encountering individuals who are better than me at this or that:
Learn from them. Ask questions about how they got from A to B. More often than not, people are eager to share with you. Many of us are compelled to pass on knowledge. It feels good to be an “expert” on something.
One of my challenges is that I toss back and forth on the ship of Knowledge. Sometimes it feels like I know so many things. But more often it feels like I know nothing at all.
Its more cozy knowing things. I feel safe and warm in my-I guess you could call it “rightness”. And it is a HUGE bummer when I find out I was completely wrong about something I was sure I knew.
Thinking on this, while recently running in a road race, I took stock of all the people running ahead of me, behind me, alongside me. These words popped into my head:
Be inspired, inspire.
When I see others giving running ahead of me, I have a choice to make. To get down on myself because I am not that fast or to be inspired.
And in choosing to be inspired there is a possibility that my own efforts might inspire someone else.
In short, the two concepts listed below give me something to hold on to when I feel myself spiraling into a total freakout about how everyone seems to know so much more than me:
- Learn from others.
- Be inspired, inspire.
Sincerely,
Terra Rose
PS. I had the above photo in my files. Does anyone know who took it? Its nice. Great job, whoever!
Life Without Montages 